dappermouth:

my cat is licking himself loudly and wetly, somewhere in this pitch-black room, and it sounds like there’s an old man eating a bowl of chili in the dark with me

nicejewishguy:

There’s just an old guy pacing back and forth in this goodwill farting and it scares me because it’s like seeing myself in 60 years

ho5eokie:

*pats my own shoulder* it’s gonna be okay dumb bitch

sebstanpai:

[shot of straight cis white couple]
narrator voice: a romance like you’ve never seen
me: did i hallucinate the other billion times